Even in utero, this child holds such tremendous power over me. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and already I eat, breath, sleep, and dream this baby girl. The day I found out I was pregnant, I ceased in being who I was, and became her mom, a better version of myself. Though I am uncertain and filled with fear, I have never felt more balanced or more ready for the unknown. Not a day or even an hour goes by when I don't feel blessed and recognize this gift: Josslyn.
I find myself distracted with thoughts on who this little gift is and who she will become. I already know she is powerful. She leads and commands, keeping me from vices that aren't healthy for either one of us. I only hope I can foster that and be the model of a strong woman that all little girls should have in their lives. I also know she is gentle, as she has been kind to my body and let's me know of her presence in subtle and soft ways; a thump here, small pressure there. She allows me to eat what I want and always seems satisfied. It's as if she's already saying, "It's okay momma, we got this." She has me so calm and so balanced, I have to believe she is like her father and is laid back. Now, given that she is half me, I know there will be fire and spunk in her, as well. If she is a mix of her father and I in that regard, it will be a nice balance.
I feel like there is already so much to say about this unborn child. I want to tell the world my hopes and dreams for her. I want to retrace every move of her day inside my bell. I want to express and seek to relieve all my fears about parenting her. But I know there will be time. Time to get to know her outside of the womb. Time for me to make and learn from mistakes. Time for me to write about all the wonder and joy she will bring to me life. Time for me to love.
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