Hope Floats

My baby girl amazes me everyday.  If only I were more diligent about writing about it!  Today, she accurately pointed to the color pink and knew just what to do when I told her to wash her knees at bath time.  She puts her trash in the garbage without being asked and croons to the beat of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song.  She is pure spirit!

I am always filled with such an overwhelming mixture of feelings.  There is pride, worry, love, awe, frustration, fear,  responsibility, amusement, and the list goes on and barely scratches the surface.  

Today, I feel panicked about my child care needs for her next year.  How will I ever succumb to the idea that strangers will be responsible for her well-being and safety?  I am certain I won't.  And as a single mom, I am in this alone and for the first time I'm terrified.  How will I pick her up? Drop her off?  Pay the Bills?  Assure her happiness and safety?  Work full time?  Juggle all of the last minute things that come up?  People say it will work out.  Of course it will.  But that won't keep the fear from looming.  When my mother leaves I am absolutely all this little girl has and I can't let her down.  I refuse to.